The Comebacks.

After I had my little dilemma about been asked the question, my friend Sal sent me this great list of comebacks that she was given by her counsellor. Thanks Sal ! I thought some of them were great and had a real chuckle. Since more TIME needs to pass and no doubt more socialising before we achieve our dream, I thought I should dig them up and study a few and share with others in similar situations.

Infertility comebacks....When it all gets too much !

"You just need to relax. You worry about
this too much"
· I am relaxed, dammit! If I were any more
relaxed I'd be comatosed.
· You mean relaxing will make my husband start
producing sperm? Is that going to unblock my
tubes?
-An there was me thinking we just needed to have sex!
-Stress doesn't cause infertility - infertility causes stress.
-You try staying calm when you have 5 pelvic exams a month.
-I am relaxed.. .except when people make stupid comments.
We already tried that method, now we're trying
something different.
"So when are you two planning on starting a family?"
-We are a family.
-So, when are you two planning on minding your own business?
-When the egg and sperm decide to do a tango.
-About three years ago! We are planning to start a family, and we've
certainly been doing our part!
-We're way past the planning stage, we've
already contacted the professionals.

"What do you want a baby for, anyway?"
-For tax purposes, of course.
-Well, the dogs seem to have turned out well. . ..
-What bothers you so much about me wanting a
baby?
-What do most people want a baby for?
-Because we need someone to help us tend the
farm.

"You want kids? You can take mine"
-You mean you hate them that much?
-(Very earnestly) Oh, that's wonderful! I'd love
to have them! When can we have them? I'll
have to clean out the spare bedroom.
-Gee, I hope they don't know you feel that way
about them. ..
-No thanks. I plan to have much nicer children
than yours.

"Well, I know its none of my business,
but are you sure you're doing everything
right?"
-Why? Do you want to show us how it's done?
-Oh, you mean he has to put it inside me?
-You're right! It is none of your business.
-We had it down to an art years ago. Now it has
become a science.

"Why don't you two have any kids?"
-Because our cats are allergic.
-Hang on, I'll go and make a copy of my
medical charts for you.
-You want the full length motion picture in
colour and dolby surround sound, or will you
be satisfied by hearing that we're working on
it?

"You are too young to be worrying about.
this."
-You mean there's an official age to start
worrying?
-I'm not going to get more fertile as I get older.
-I have problems with my reproductive system
that can get worse in time. If I decide to wait
now, I'm an idiot.

"Yeah, you just wait, you'll see what it's
like"
-I have seen what it's like. Now I would like to
feel what it's like.
-So you wish you hadn't done it, eh?
- I am waiting. and waiting and waiting.
-Yes, I do, wanna loan me some money so I can
afford the fertility treatments?

"I'll get you pregnant !" or "You should
sleep with (my boyfriend/husband).
He'd get the job done in a minute"
-Yes, but I want a human child.
-No, I already tried him.
- I doubt you could get me pregnant, but I'm
sure you'd give me morning sickness.


Reprinted from the Friends ?? (Couldn't read the print)